Sober Eyes
I'm starting to see things that I never saw before not the least of which is ugly women aren't magically transformed into Scarlett Johanson at 2:30 in the morning anymore. I can also watch a late night movie without covering one eye. What else? OH and there is this thing called a sunrise that apparently only happens if you roll out of bed before 2pm. All kinds of crazy sober sights to be seen. If loving the sober life is wrong I don't wanna be right! Oh and I'm no Brad Pitt myself so don't go hating on me for the Scarlett post ladies. Thems juss jokes!
Todd drops microphone. Walks off stage.