Lesson learned! Pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Btw, I would not consider the previous 15 months of sobriety lost! Those are yours and well earned. Your family will be thrilled that you back in the saddle and in control, so let go of the shame and forgive yourself, just as others will! I too have come to terms with the fact that I cannot moderate and that complete abstinence is the only way to keep myself from falling back into the pit of alcoholism. Kudos to you for acknowledging your plight and wishing you many more happy years of sobriety.