OMG roflmao
I know this is serious, however, I went through this years ago, as in no one I dated was 'good enough for me' according to my folks, especially my mother. Yep I grew up upper middle class. Of course, it was never to be ever 'mentioned' that my mother's mother was a full blooded Lakota Indian, lol That was a BIG family secret. doG forbid that anyone know my mother was a 'half-breed'. Sheesh her words not mine.
And my mother was absolutely furious with me, when I started researching my heritage early in my recovery and learning the Native American Ways.
This was a big cause of my rebellion against my raising, because I just did not want to see a 'class' difference. So when I laughed it was at me, not at you, and how long it took me to 'stand up for myself' so to speak. It was not until I had been in recovery for several years, and almost 40 years old that I was able to ACCEPT that I 'walked to a differnt drummer' than my mother and that it was Okay. Hmm after that it was a subject that she did not bring up with me very often.
You know it took me almost a year in AA before I understood what some of the folks would say about themselves, that they were CIA. Catholic, Irish, Alcoholic, and most of them had become pretty damn successful by my mothers terms. I told her that in one of our disagreements. Also told her that these folks could 'buy and sell her several times over.'
Lily I hated growing up that way, and you can guess where I always gravitated to, yep in my mother's words "to the wrong side of the tracks." I have known for a long time now why my friends there were so appealing too me ........................ they were REAL. Their families were REAL. No BS, they didn't pretend that things were 'wonderful' when they weren't. They didn't 'put on airs' and act 'better than'. They didn't try to 'keep up with the Jones" or be the Jones that others were trying to keep up with.
I remember at about 8 years old when my love of horses really started to be apparent. Well........... I had to go for 'riding lessons' according to my mother. The first time I arrived there and they brought out a Welsh pony with an English saddle on him, I threw an absolute fit. I did NOT want to ride English, I wanted a 'cowboy saddle.' Well, it was a compromise of sorts. My first year of lessons I learned English, then I could finally ride Western and I NEVER went back! roflmao
(((((Lily))))) I don't know your BF or his family but in some ways I do. I suspect his using of alcohol started out just as mine did as a way to get 'away from his family' and 'their ideas' about themselves and 'their social class'.
You are and have shown yourself to be a bright, very smart, young lady, who is managing an awful lot in her young life and managing it very well. Being a single mom and having one of your children be disabled to a degree is quite a burden, and yet you are doing a really 'bang up job!'
Be damn proud of who you are, this country was BUILT on the backs of the Irish Immigrants that landed here!!!!!
You did good yesterday, real good. Just remember, the next time you have to be around them, and I am sure there will be a 'next time', hold your head up high, and just be you. If they don't like that, oh well, not your problem, and they will miss out on getting to know a very wonderful human being.
As to your BF, either he will learn how to just be himself around your family or not, and if not he will be cheating himself out of a wonderful experience(s). And you can tell him I said so, rofl Tell him that comes from a person raised by Upper Crust Stuffed Shirts, who in recovery from alcoholism learned to be her own person, not a 'carbon copy' of the 'snobs' that raised her. lmao
Wow, so sorry to get wordy, but your post brought up a bunch of memories and most of them not very good, how my parents, mostly my mom, would try and 'browbeat' my friends that came to the house. She was a real 'piece of work' my mom was.
I wrote the above to help you see that I REALLY DO UNDERSTAND!!! You just keep on trudgin forward my dear sweet lady, you are doing fantastic!!!!!
Oh, and the next time something like that happens, just picture ALL of us there with you. Now you will have to try not to 'giggle' but the mental picture will put them in 'their place'. roflmao And we were there with you yesterday, in spirit!
Lots of love and bunches of hugs,