Oh and another ting.
I'm lying in bed right now, trying to take a nap bc it seems to be the only way to stop thinking about food (you can replace food by your drug of choice I presume it's the same)...
I'm on day one since I made my Big Plan and commited to it for real, and I feel depressed bc of the "loss". I'm hanging in the house with no motivation to no anything, thinking about eating all the time... I think that's not AVRT at all so I need help.
I try to resist this depression feeling but it doesn't change anything. I know it is my Beast trying to convince me life without bulimia is a sh*t, but knowing it doesn't get the lazyness and "sadness" away...
Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I just have to accept to be depressed BUT recovered?
I will never change my mind, I know it know. Bulimia is no longer an option. Never again. Maybe my Beast gets it and tries to make me change my mind by making me feel like that?
Sorry for my english I wrote in a rush...