I live with an AH who is very cold to me and also very angry when he's drinking which starts at noon and continues until late at night. I'm just starting the process of coming to terms with the situation and the first thing I've started doing is setting personal boundaries. It hasn't been easy for me. I now leave the room when he starts ranting and I have started trying to move forward with my life to gain some peace. I've been seeing a therapist which has really helped too and I think the one thing my therapist told me that I cling to when I feel so alone is that his relationship at this point is with the alcohol and not me. Once I really came to terms with that statement, I've been able to slowly move forward. Don't know if that helps you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's very difficult for sure.