This is exactly what happens to me...and by now I also feel calm, I do get frustrated and sometimes hurt by his actions, but I don't feel that anger that I used to, and to be honest that scares me because I'm afraid that it means that I'm becoming used to him acting this way. I know that feeling of knowing what they did just by how they talk to you on the phone...it's hard...while I was reading your post it was like reading what I'm thinking and the things I go thru. I hope things work out for you, and that you find strength, this is a tough battle.