Oh Geppster, I feel your pain. I feel like I'm reading about myself. I've been married almost 22 years to a functioning AH. My kids are the same age. The best thing I did for them was to take them to a family program that a rehab center held for the family living with an alcoholic. I know we are a lot better off since going. I hope that you can find one in your area perhaps. We drove 7 hours to get to ours, but it was well worth it. I know alanon also has programs for teens, and also maybe talking with a counselor who is familiar with addiction and the family may be a help too. Try an alanon meeting, try more than one, they all seem a little different. I too struggled with going for a long time due to the same feelings you had...why should I if he's not?? But, it will help, you will see your not alone and that in itself is a big comfort. Read too- get some books on codepedency and read! information is your best friend. The anger you feel is totally natural, but maybe with the info. you can learn to redirect it some at the disease itself. I feel for you and wish I could give you a big hug. So I will send you one instead. Hang in there.