Hello, deeker alkie!
I have no control over other alkies, that seems to be my issue lately....
I believe anyone who has the desire to stop drinking is a part of AA/SR. Anyone who has a desire I would like to help. Well I suppose anyone is welcome in SR regardless.
AA however has one requirement for membership- A desire to stop drinking.
But I can counsel someone, pray with them,share my experience, strength and hope with them but unless they are willing to stop and take suggestions I just can't make them want this.
If they are not ready they just aren't ready.
I am as powerless over another's alcoholism as I am over mine. Sometimes I think because I have had a spiritual awakening and a major miracle because of God and this site and the AA program that I can give someone else hope to want to find recovery. Maybe I can give hope.
But each one of us has to admit absolute compleat defeat before we are going to be willing to stop drinking and learn new tools to stay clean and sober.
My ego made me believe I could say some magical thing to a newcomer to make them want to get and stay sober.
Not gonna lie, it still makes me think that sometimes. I really hope I can.
But I am pretty powerless and have no control.
I realize I can't jump into their skins, reset their goals or decide what is best for them. Believe me I have tried.
They may actually become more productive if I don't push them and do it for them.
I need to detach with love.
So today I have to let them go and just pray for them till they really are ready. And when they are I will be here for them.
Until then I seek out another newcomer who wants it. I have boundaries today and if they are not ready I can not help and I'm not gonna lose my serenity trying.
I see people who are trying to solve all their problems but are still drinking. They believe the problems brought on the drink. I know better. My drinking brought on my problems.
It's hard letting go, especially when I have found a life more satisfying than anything I have ever experienced before, I just want to shake them and say , Do what I did, take suggestions, It works.
If I have reached out in all sincerity and they just are not ready I do not have to save them or beat myself up cuz they weren't ready and I couldn't hang in there.
It's heart breaking and I now know what all the people who went before me felt like when they tried to help me over the last 37 years when I just wasn't ready to surrender.
I know now that I can carry the message , not the alkie.....
Today my recovery comes first but if you really are ready , hey let's do this, cuz you help me too! Thanks!
