This and the drama triangle are what I need to hear
Thank you for posting this. And someone posted a link to the "drama triangle" in another thread. I'm clinging hard to these 2 things this week.
Guilt is my kryptonite. It's the thing that's kept me in my situation for so long. Feeling like I'd be abandoning, feeling like he won't be able to take care of himself, feeling like I'm selfish. On and on.
Intellectually I get it, but the heart is slow to change.
It helps me to keep asking myself "what am I making better by staying", and "am I really happy here". Because I'm not doing either of us one bit of good. And while I'm still around, he gets to avoid, and he'll never discover any shred of self-respect or independence because of it.
"Let it burn off" is good. It may hurt, but it will surely pass.