Robby thank you for the advice. I have made my Big Plan again yesterday night, but meaning every word of it this time. Thinking about the consequences:
- depression
- boredom
- frustration
- fear of weight gain
- stress
- fear
All these emotions are generated by the Beast and I will be able to recognize them by now. I won't listen to the perfect excuses of my lower brain. If I have to feel bad, I accept it. I prefer to be depressed than this life of elusive pleasure and real pain. And I also know I'm writing this bc I'm scared to break my commitment, which is pure AV once again, but it is losing its time. because from today, I won't ever break my Big Plan again.