I have so many memories, and lack thereof, where I thought no one could tell how much I had drank and that I was keeping it together....and for the most part I did. Those closest to me over time I think could tell that I wasn't quite right, so I would hide away from them for a while.
I'm tired of hiding my problem, and like you I have little ones who need me to be sober ALL the time. Fortunately my kids haven't seen me drunk too much, they are only 3 and 4 and 90% of the time I drink after they are in bed or close to it....
Keep coming on here, it has been worth every minute for me the last couple of days!