Time for my first post
Hello everyone
I've been lurking for about a month. This evening I drank at possibly the only problem that could make me drink. I was 3 weeks sober before that. It is a problem that will be here over the next few months though so I thought it was time to post.
I feel I know many of you already, through avidly reading. I'm definitely an alcohol abuser. High tolerance, more gets more etc, but I'm lucky to be grounded by 2 small kids & the fact that pregnancy turned me off wine & I don't do spirits. Beer, though. That was 8-14 cans about 2-3 times a week. I was turning up at school pickup trashed (thinking I looked "normal") argh. I work at home and work hard, but that was going downhill too. So I decided I should quit.
This site has been amazing for me. I'm lucky enough just to have had the racing-heart thing (wakes me up/stops me going to sleep) and the anxiety (I call it squirming) as withdrawals. But I want some accountability now I've had a slip.
Basically I'm seeing how I've used alcohol as a crutch all my adult life and given lame excuses for it (I've just turned 42). I had really high potential as a youngster (went to top uni etc) but chronic lack of self esteem & confidence, I know the only way is sobriety. I already see the fun I can have and give my little ones. I think I'm looking to make some friends in this site.
Xx