Originally Posted by
Rosieblue 
it's a lot to do with the self confidence self loathing issues for me I think
It sounds to me as though you could benefit from some CBT, Rosie? We can get into a pattern of "automatic negative thinking" (which may not be actually based on anything rational) and often it doesn't stand up under scrutiny. It is possible, over time to reverse some of these automatic negative thinking patterns or, at least, to learn to recognise when we are doing it and to consciously contemplate alternative conclusions about ourselves. If it means anything, I think you are an absolutely gorgeous person and you deserve to learn to really love yourself.