the problem with mingled finances is if one of the parties decides to go on a tear and blow thru ALL the financial resources. that can leave the other party in a pretty rough spot, if not downright destitute. when my husband was out rippin' and runnin' i made SURE to get all the money i could out of his way - that meant he only spent about $300 that night.
what boundaries are YOU willing to employ if not any suggested? what IS acceptable to you and NOT acceptable? she's in jail so i suspect things went horribly awry to say the least.