Thanks everyone...I really do want to get control of my issues. Drinking has been a catalyst for my struggles with depression and anxiety. After I had our last daughter I told a very good friend of mine that I never wanted to go back to drinking to the point of getting drunk, I spent nearly two years either pregnant or nursing and it was the best I had ever felt. But within a year after she was born I slowly went back to drinking and drinking more and now I stand here and think, "what the h-e-l-l am I doing to myself and my family"...there is so much more to life to enjoy, I don't need a cocktail or beer in my hand to enjoy it....