need to start over.....again
Well, this isn't my first post here, however I had been drinking when I first signed up and couldn't remember my login information, not even the user name, that in itself is pretty pathetic...
Anyway, I am a mother to three beautiful girls (16, 4, 3) and wife to my husband for almost 18 years. I am a RN and work night shift. There are three nights a week I don't drink, which is when I work. I usually drink 3 out of the 4 nights that I am off work and at home. We have a busy household like most people, and I am finishing my BSN which I will graduate and be done in July- I started to drink more than just socially about 2years ago, which ironically is when I went back to school to get my BSN. I usually drink later in the night, while working on my homework, shopping online, etc when the kids are going to bed. I have had a few bouts of sober weeks here and there, the longest being two weeks about this time last year. Currently I go maybe 2 days in a row sober if I am scheduled to work two nights together...this weekend, particularly yesterday I really pushed it too far. Saturday night my husband and I played darts at home, had drinks, he went to bed and I continued to drink and call friends to chat. I woke up half drunk/half hungover yesterday and noticed the cocktail still sitting on my nightstand and decided to add ice and drink it...at 9am. Later around noon I snuck back into the liquer cabinent and made another, unbeknownest to anyone...by early afternoon my husband wanted to go have a late lunch with friends and a beer, so our eldest watched the little ones and we went out. In the car he asked me if I had been drinking, I lied and blamed cold medicine was making me feel funny....I really don't think he bought it..we came home and I was bombed. I was in bed by 7. Today he again asked me if I had drank earlier Sunday without telling him, and I again denied it. This is just not the person I am....I feel so beyond sad. Thanks for being here.