I am worried about both, but most worried about my own. Prior to this relationship I was in an unhappy marriage but I rarely drank. I am an ACOA, and my ex was a very predictable, stable sort. He didn't drink. I was attracted to him b/c he was so predictable. But we had no connection. Now I am with someone with whom I do have a better overall relationship, but he drinks socially and I started drinking with him. I realize that my life, my kids and my job have to come first and that I cannot take the blame for when things in my fiancee's life go wrong. And that I can choose to NOT drink when I feel bad, but rather, try to do something good for myself. My kids are teens and really don't want a lot to do with me, but when they are home I want peace and serenity for them.