I am sorry your going thru this and I have also been in a very similar situation! Absolutely horrible and devastating for me. I hung in there, made excuses, believed in him, supported him.......over and over! For us it never changed and ended after 4+ years. I wish I had quit trying to change something I couldn't long before...my thinking then sounds so much like how I use to feel/think.
Think long and hard before you keep banging you head with pain! Certainly will tell you what you want to here & I wanted to believe every bit of it! In the end, I felt even worse bc there were so many lies so much invested! I hope I have not come across too harsh
bc I certainly feel for you. Take care of yourself.