I'm with artsoul in this one.
I think sometimes we feel that to even think of drinking means our recovery isn't worth much.
JMO (and I realise I'm an interloper here) but I think you'd be making a mistake there.
You're in tough situations, you're facing things I'm sure you'd not rather face...I think you'd need to be made of stone not to feel a little scared...and with fear in creeps that Great Opportunist, Addiction.
You haven't caved, you're reaching out, I presume you're speaking with your sponsor and other support - you might be able to think of things I can't to shore up your recovery, but I'm not sure what more could be asked of you right now?
D