I will have to think about that Robby.
I am trying to work on this from the inside out if that makes sense. Rather than trying to control situations I pray for guidance but this doesn't always come naturally to me. Fear has always been an issue but I'm working on that too.
I guess I also don't want to be viewed in a negative light by people. Control again I guess. It was only a few months ago that I was seen as everyone's friend, and now I'm 'management' I've lost that big time. Feelings of isolation, of loss of my security, doubts about my ability, etc etc. yeah, maybe it is all about control, and anxiety about losing that. And fear of change. And fear of anger.
Maybe I should spend some time thinking this through a bit more deeply. Or maybe I should just chalk this one up as a bad couple of days and move past it?
Thankyou everyone. I'm sober tonight. On Monday I will be 10 months sober and I don't want to throw that away. I really don't.