Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot 
My opinion, my experience, its the "fight" that is making the "problem" escalate to the point of "wavering"
I had thought you are already well versed with the idea of surrender?
Can you talk more about what you mean by "difficult" and why does "wavering" cause you to dread the future?
Sorry for your present tough times, Jeni.
I have surrendered in as much as I know I'm powerless over alcohol, that if I were to drink one, I would end up in a dark place. The fight yesterday was against buying myself a bottle of vodka. I talked myself out of it by having some sort of internal battle in which common sense won. That time, though the feeling of wanting a drink remains. And yes, I am praying. I am asking for help with this.
Difficult...well my day was stressful as most are but I had to chair a meeting in which the staff were really unhappy at a decision made by the school ( I'm in school management, recently promoted out of the classroom) I felt I had to defend a decision which wasn't made by me, but in essence I did agree with. Dealing with a group of disgruntled and at times angry people put me way out of my comfort zone. I had to act calm and in control but I wanted to bolt out of that room and as far away from the situation as I could. I felt intimidated and out of my depth I guess. Today I dealt with the fallout from that meeting.
Wavering...because I'm not strong and resolute like I have been for months, and that scares me. I'm worried because I'm not at all confident that I won't drink this weekend.