Originally Posted by
Jeni26 
I had a very difficult day at work yesterday, and today wasn't much better, and suddenly I'm back into that default position of wanting to drink. I really had to fight it yesterday, and I've got the weekend coming up and am wavering.
My opinion, my experience, its the "fight" that is making the "problem" escalate to the point of "wavering"
I had thought you are already well versed with the idea of surrender?
For me, some surrender is called for... some humility... some gratitude... some rigorous honesty.
You've done exactly the correct thing, imo, to identify that all is not well, and things could be better, by YOU doing whatever. Since you're still taking responsibility for your having a tough time of it, you're in a great place to change things up, and move on!!
Can you talk more about what you mean by "difficult" and why does "wavering" cause you to dread the future?
Sorry for your present tough times, Jeni.