Dear ShootingStar, remind yourself (yet, again) how LITTLE time you have been on your recovery path. You have made astonishing strides during this time, though!!
You can't expect yourself to be "completely cured" in the snap of a finger--rem ember how many (20?) years you spent with this man progressively crushing your identity and self-confidence.
When you experience these brief "set-backs", do not allow your brain to obsess with thoughts of him. Restrict yourself from thinking about him or trying to "understand" him. Jump up as fast as you can and go forward.
As time passes, the emotional memories will fade more and more and your present life will become your daily reality. History will truly become history.
sincerely, dandylion