Wow, what you you described is my life to this point. For me, drinking has largely been about living what I thought of as the rock n roll lifestyle, sex-drugs-and rock n roll, whatever you want to call it. However, when the party was over, my nightmare of secretly drinking alone (to not go into withdrawal) began and the cycle of partying then isolation just repeats. Quitting "on the sly" (as someone just put it) seems to make it particularly difficult for me but the embarrassment of being a known alkie in my family and social circles has isolated me and my problem...