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Old 03-20-2013, 07:31 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
LexieCat
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Has he ever said he wants help for his drinking? What does he say about it?

I agree that you should STOP buying him alcohol.

I went through the exact same exhausting routine you are going through, with my second husband. I left him a matter of months after we got married. He lost his job because he couldn't do it (because of the drinking). He made a couple of half-assed attempts to find a job and then started drinking 24/7 while I supported us both--and was looking for a second job because we could not afford our expenses. He renewed the lease on the house we had rented after I had explicitly told him we could not afford it and would have to move. That was the last straw (there was a whole long saga that preceded this, including his near death during alcohol withdrawal when he was unexpectedly hospitalized for something else). As far as I know (this was fifteen years ago), he is still drinking himself to death.

What you are seeing right now is the best this man will ever be--unless he quits drinking and works a recovery program. If he has shown no interest in quitting drinking, my suggestion is that you start making plans either to live with a steadily worsening relationship or making plans to leave. I suggest you get to some Al-Anon meetings to get your head clear.

Love doesn't fix this problem. You can both love each other, but he loves the alcohol more. He has to want to quit for himself.
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