I can only say that in my situation, when the AH was out of work, he was perfectly content to just stay home and drink. It was fine that I worked and supported everything. It was exactly what he preferred!
You are not alone. We have all been in your shoes in one way or another. Yours locks himself in a room, mine stayed in the garage drinking and smoking all night.
I still love my husband, we are separated for 7 months now. But I have more clarity now and know that I did the right thing by separating from him. I really recommend Alanon...and read the stickies at the top of the forum. Lots of good experience and comments there. This site has been a life saver for me. Keep us posted! Hang in there.