Day 2 Doubts
I woke up this morning at 7:45 AM. Wow. I didn't even know the world existed at 7:45 AM on a Sunday. 
I usually don't wake up until it is almost noon and that is only because my mouth is like a desert and the pounding in my head has finally become too much to sleep through. I have 28 hours of sobriety right now. Although I felt really strong and euphoric all day yesterday, the inevitable crash is happening as I type this.
I woke up and could feel that every muscle in my body was as tight as a drum. I still feel that way. I have to keep reminding myself to unclench my jaw. I cannot relax no matter how many different breathing techniques I try and I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I can never have a drink again. Never. Never. Never. It just sounds so dreadfully final. When I was lying in bed, I caught myself thinking that if I can make it to my parents' Christmas party without a drink, then I deserve a glass of wine. Lucky for me, my mother never drank and my father only has a glass of scotch on special occassions, so the temptation won't be so great. I hate scotch. I am afraid of myself when I start to think like this. I know that I can be very persuading and eventually, that drinking side of me starts to make sense and wins over the would-be sober side of me. I have a busy day today and I am hoping that the activity will help to calm me down. I don't want to drink.
Last edited by katze; 12-05-2004 at 03:28 PM.