Originally Posted by
Lyoness 
Just had to chime in as another adoptee, here, too! I know the tough issues we face when it comes to trust and abandonment. I know facing and healing them is part of healing my addiction issues.
I had a few blackouts, had my ex tell me about dancing a bit too provocatively in public. That's the problem with booze, stuff comes out that has nothing to do with how we are normally.
So stick around here. Together we will all make it!
Lyoness, thanks so much for chiming in... you struck a chord when you mentioned the trust and abandonment issues. I know these are HUGE for me. I've always felt a deep sense of loneliness or being singular, like I'm truly alone in the world. I believe that this is a big part of why I started drinking. I always thought that once I had children, I wouldn't be alone anymore and all of my damaged bits and scars would simply fade away - I thought having children would cure all of my woes because I'd finally be part of a 'real' family. My children are the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, I love them so very deeply and yet I've continued to drink, knowing where I might end up and knowing it could damage them beyond repair. I'm so ashamed of that, so scared i won't make it and so horribly affraid of hurting the 3 little people who make my life worth living. Today is day 2. I will not drink today. Thanks everyone, you guys are gold.