Thanks ShineBright..
I have DEFINITELY found myself OFTEN, on the couch, or in bed, not talking to anyone, and completely letting fear cripple me. It was to the point where my father and my sister said "We love J, but we are worried about YOU. YOU are our priority right now". It was sweet and sad at the same time.
I am going to look for another CoDA meeting. I clearly could use it, and everyone here that has quoted it, or AlAnon has really helped me.