LittleTPot

I’ve been trying to decide all day where to start and which forum to start in, and finally I decided to just get it all out here. I’m pretty sure my husband is an alcoholic. We’ve been together for nearly 15 years, and his drinking has wreaked havoc on our lives. He a wonderful man, a great friend and a fabulous father, but he’s a disaster when he’s drinking. He got a DUI about six years ago and managed to drink in moderation for a while. He also learned to always take a cab rather than drive when he’s drinking. The issue is that he’s now pass-out drunk five or six night a week. He'll go a few days without drinking and then the drinking gets bad again. He’s highly functional in terms of his job. He’s well respected at his company and just got a promotion. One of the issues is that his job involves constant entertaining which means constant drinking. He knows that it’s an issue and he apologizes and makes promises after every “incident.” Last week he was on a real bender with drinking every night and developed horrible chest/abdominal pain that wouldn't go away. He went to the doctor this morning and FINALLY admitted that he had a drinking problem and needs help. I’m so proud of him but I’m also terrified about the journey we’re about to take.

Here’s the other issue—I’m a problem drinker. I was in AA when I met my husband 15 years ago but went back to drinking with him. I have a young child and a good job and manage to keep my drinking to just a night or two the week. The problem is that I’m a total binge drinker and will drink until I black out. I can moderate most of the time, but every few weeks I have a bad round of drinking.

I know we both have to quit, but I’m so scared. Everything in our lives revolves around drinking. I’m afraid that it will affect my husband’s position at work, since so much of his job revolves around drinking and entertaining. (The man is practically a legend for his drinking, sadly.) I’m also terrified about what this will do to our social life. We live on a really social block where everyone gets together on the weekend to hang out and drink. We entertain constantly, and I can’t imagine having friends over and not offering them wine. Who am I if I’m not the crazy party woman who loves wine? I know these things are completely inconsequential compared to the way that I KNOW alcohol will destroy our beautiful life. However, alcohol has been my constant companion and I can’t imagine life without it.

Thanks for letting me share. I know that we both have to walk away from alcohol forever, but it’s a very scary first step.