His mother has always told me about how grateful she was to me for caring for him. She even called me after this happened and was crying, apologizing for his behavior. She has heart problems and doesn't have long to live, and she said she's afraid she's never going to see him again, because she believes he'll end up in jail and she doesn't have long to live. Earlier in the breakup I told him about what she had said and he said he doesn't want to see her because it hurts him to see her in the condition she's in; he doesn't want to see his grandmother because her Parkinson's is getting worse, he doesn't want to spend anymore time with our dog (our baby together) because it hurts him to see the things he's giving up (the dog and me). He's cutting all the loving, kind, generous things out of his life and just wallowing in his selfish needs and obsessions about pot. He has a few health issues himself, because he's 45 years old and never took really good care of himself. This, of course, all plays on my personality of being a helper and teacher.
A couple days ago, things started to get a little better for me, because, after I was reading the 10 signs to let go, I realized, other than the day he left, he has never been concerned with making my life better. The times he said he was doing something to for my benefit, it also benefited him (like when he made a vegetable garden to at least be providing something for my support).