Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Shaolin,
If I recall correctly, you knowingly and willingly married your wife even though you knew she was an addict. And if I also recall correctly, there was also some question as to whether or not she had a character disorder. I'm not a mental health professional, so I can't make that diagnosis. That said -- and you probably don't want to hear this -- your boundary of "if you come back from rehab and use again, we are finished" probably doesn't have any teeth from her perspective. Think about it for a second, man. Her behavior while using has been absolutely atrocious -- not a surprise -- and you've still stood by her. So what makes you think she's going to take you seriously this time?
Regarding her sister, good for her. I mean it. But what did it take for her to get to that point where she was willing to entertain recovery? Her boyfriend booted her a$$ out and sent her packing. So there's quite a bit of daylight between your boundary and what this guy did.
I'm not a marriage counselor. But I am someone that has learned the hard way what addicts are capable of. The sky's the limit on that one. And what I want for you is to not be in denial anymore about what it is you're dealing with. Because you have been. And you've paid a pretty high price for that.
Think about what is best for YOU. Not what is best for your MARRIAGE. What is best for YOU.
ZoSo