Bags... I don't have parents either. Both passed by the time I was 25. My husband travels for work. I hve two kids to care for. I quit drinking when he was gone about 8 months ago. But i more than made ip for it when he was home on the weekends. Thank god my kids have each other, because there were times when I would drink and pass out by 7 pm. I would leave the front door unlocked, leave candles burning. Have started a fire in the fire put outside and passed out. The fear I instilled in my kids wasn't enough to keep me sober. The fear I put in my husband wasn't enough either. I hit a bottom that I never wanted to revisit.
Nothing physically serious happened. But I will not know how I emotionally scarred them. When I asked myself was it worth it? Eff no it wasn't! My alcohol consumption got to the point where I had no idea if it was going to be 2 or 8 drinks that brought me to yet another bottom.
What if I become addicted to drugs? Gambling? Sex? I can't foresee the future. I also can't tell you if I will live a happy prosperous sober life! But I do know that by seeking help, and putting one foot in front of the other, doing the next right thing, I hve a pretty good shot at a much better life than I was living.
Your post screams help me. If you truely don't want to be where you are right now, on this slippery slope, then call your husband, a friend, anyone!!!!!! Because that pint of vodka is not your friend and it certainly isn't making you a better mother. If you need to drag your son out of bed to get booze, then I think you know the answer to your question. Next time drag him to an aa meeting. It may be more beneficial!
Please, seek some support and help! Please!