I have a lot of reasons for drinking. My dad was an alcoholic, I was also abused in 5th grade, divorce, and a ton of things I could list. All that stuff is the Ick. You will need to get that out to maintain sobriety. It is hard and there may be feelings that come out once you stop self medicating. It was a very rough 30 days for me once I got sober to deal with everything. I was honest with myself and looked very hard at my true feelings and emotions. Get it out to start and build a foundation for sobriety.