Originally Posted by
wildhorses 
LexieCat thanks, that actually makes it a little easier if I think of the 12 steps that way. Never thought of that. Yes he is my son's father. I guess I'm just used to saying "my son"
Ok, then. You will have to accept the fact that you are not going to be able to simply erase alcoholism from your life. Whether you stay or go, you will be dealing with it for years and years to come. If you look around this forum, you will find dozens of people struggling to deal with alcoholics with whom their only remaining connection is a child in common. Whether you stay or go, your child will do better if he has at least ONE reliable parent in his life. So I would suggest taking some time to plan your next moves very carefully. There is no emergency that requires you to act immediately. Learn as much as you can about alcoholism, work on your own recovery.
I would suggest that you begin by working a bit on the concept of detachment. That doesn't mean giving someone the silent treatment--it is simply a way of stepping back from useless arguments and learning not to allow yourself to be so strongly affected emotionally by what your husband does. It takes some time to learn, but the rewards in terms of your own emotional well-being can be great.