You've referred in your posts to "my" 3-y/o son. Is he not the child's father?
I'm asking because that is something else to consider--if he IS the child's father, then leaving him is one thing, but you will be dealing with him for the next 20 years or so. IOW, you will be dealing with the alcoholism issue for the foreseeable future.
If he ISN'T the child's father, that makes things a bit simpler. You are certainly free to leave whenever you choose to, but I think you will do best if you get some recovery for yourself.
The 12 Steps have been used in Al-Anon from the beginning. The focus, however, is on you, not on the alcoholic. I am a sober alcoholic (four and a half years) and I have been in two marriages to alcoholic men (one got sober and stayed that way, the other went back to drinking). The 12 Steps are, in my opinion, a healthy way for ANYONE to live, alcoholic, partner of alcoholic, or just a person who has ever suffered in life because of their own behavior (which means just about everyone on the planet). Don't think of it as something just for addicts or alcoholics--it can be the key to a wonderful new life where you can go out and live without the burdens of your childhood, your marriage, or any other problems.