Welcome to the SR family!
Thank you for sharing your story. This is a wonderful place to share, read, vent and learn. Please make yourself at home.
Your husband may or may not be an alcoholic. You are correct that labeling the condition doesn't change anything. The unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable. The fact that he has a DUI and was picked up again, does indicate alcoholism is an issue. His drinking and driving can and will effect you and your child. Court costs, jail time, and insurance increases will have an impact on your household finances. Alcoholism is progressive and it will get worse if untreated.
He is exhibiting classic behavior of alcoholism: Denial, Blame-shifting, Minimizing your needs, Lies, and Manipulations.
The more you try to address this the more he will twist and turn everything you say and do. He will protect his DOC (drug of choice) at all costs.
Please stick around and learn all you can about how this is affecting you, your child and your home.
I recommend reading in the permanent posts at the top of this forum's main page. Here is a link that contains steps that really helped me when I was living with active alcoholism in my home:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html