My struggle isn't with knowing what I have to do. I've read Melody Beattie back to front and front to back. I've been in my own therapy. I think my biggest challenge now is a depth of grief that feels so huge. I've been crying off and on all day, knowing I've lost her, at least for now.
Last night she came to a birthday dinner for one of her older brothers. She showed up with a big gash on her chin and chipped teeth -- she had been climbing a tree while high and fell out of it. It was shocking to see; it was a pretty serious injury that anyone would recognize needed a number of stitches and immediate attention. But apparently she and whoever she was with was too disconnected from events to do anything about it. Or too fearful to go to the hospital.
Seeing her like that put me over the edge. It could have been much worse. This time she's going to have a nasty scar. Next time, who knows.
cangel2 - you're right. I hold on to the the fact she acquired some important knowledge during her treatment, and hopefully at some point, she'll be able to retrieve it.
But for now, I think it's the utter sense of helplessness that is so difficult. And loss and grief. It feels so painful. And I just have to get through it.