GraciousOne,
I have been meaning to reply to you but with work going on sometimes I am slow in that sense. I think if I had tried to have the full conversation with my boyfriend before I calmed down and thought things through, it would have been a lot of yelling, mean comments that I would have regretted, saying things that would have made him become defensive, and it could have all went very wrong.
Im glad I took the time to think, because it has helped me realize just what you said, there is a better way to talk to someone with an addiction, or who is trying to stop and is what I would call fragile. We can still accomplish what we need, while not treating them like an inferior person. That is all part of the stigma of drug use. They each have their own level of ability to communicate I guess, why not try to maximize it. Im learning too.