Oh first light...I can totally relate to your anguish....it is so hard stepping forward and removing ourselves from the madness. My son was clean for 9 months...we supported him emotionally....helped put some things in place for him to be successful and I know these feelings of anger and disappointment when he relapsed. I removed myself from the situation at that point. He could have chosen to learn from the relapse, recommit to his recovery but he told me he had no interest in being clean. He reaches out from time to time but I keep my message the same. I will not talk about your addiction or involve myself in your chaos. When you are ready for change let me know. I used to allow my brain to work overtime, slept very little, allowed his addiction to completely absorb my serenity. Not so any more....when I feel weak I come here and regain some strength and clarity. I attend al-anon and read whatever I can find on letting go, co dependency etc. This site has given me such support...as I hope it does you as well. It sounds as if your daughter had some really great opportunities for growth and self improvement. I hope she can once again rebuild her life incorporating those wonderful experiences and messages into her recovery.