Thank you Kindeyes and Ann. I have realized I can't fix her. Her choices are her own. And that I have choices as well. It's been a roller-coaster for some time, and we helped get her off for a period of time, but now she's back on, and I have decided I don't have to ride with her.
I know what I have to do...my gut is telling me. But what's difficult is facing the residual feelings of loss and sadness that go along with that decision. I miss her. It just hurts so much to acknowledge that I can't have the relationship with her I'd like, that her siblings can't either, and we have to let go. It's an ache that pierces me and even if I make the choices I know now are right, the feelings still remain.