FirstLight

In January, my 24-year-old daughter returned home after 9 months spent first in a wilderness treatment program (3 months) and then in a young-adult after-care program (6 months). Her time in wilderness, in particular, was incredible. It was as if she had conquered a mountain, and she came out of there with confidence and a fierce determination to her recovery.

Since returning home, she's begun to regress in any ways. While drugs were a serious part of her story, her primary issues were depression and a very unhealthy co-dependent relationship. She's returned to the relationship, and along with it, to a lot of self-destructive choices and behaviors that are really hard to watch, including intermittent drug use. It's like watching a movie in reverse.

I've had to put up boundaries to take care of myself. But here's my question: I feel like telling her I don't want to know what's going on her life. I don't want any information, any details. I almost want nothing to do with her now, since every time there's an interaction, I'm seeing more evidence of self-destruction and unhealthy choices she justifies in any number of ways.

That year she was away, I put so much energy, time, travel and money into her recovery. Now I feel betrayed. And I feel I just don't have more to give.

If she's ever in danger or needs medical attention, absolutely, call me. Instantly. I'll be there.

But other than that, I feel like I don't even to be around her. Or speak with her.

Is this loving detachment? Or am I drawing too hard a line?