redatlanta

C- I applaud you for making steps in your own behavior I know it was hard to go to work yesterday and I do understand the desire to manage the situation - that is as much for us as it is for them as dealing with a drunken night/day and the BS that comes along with it often is our problem.

I am saying this is kindness, because its hard to read this forum at times when you are caught in the midst of your situation. Your husband is NOT in recovery. he is NOT sober. As to whether or not he ever was really doesn't matter. What matters is now. Its very important to accept this, alcoholism and addiction are a disease of denial and it infects everyone and it is infecting you too. While I know you don't attend AA I think you appreciate the 12 steps. There is a reason why a white chip is handed out on that first day, and every first day that happens. My husband has 9 white chips. He should have 10 but he won't go get that last one because he wants to pretend that his relapse never happened. I suppose he sees it as flushing 10 years sober down the drain. I see the white chip as a fresh start and a new day - and a recognition that one is powerless over alcohol.

Perhaps now would be a good time to lay low and watch your husband and see what he does. Someone mentioned the term "more will be revealed" that is the truest statement when it comes to the disease. Letting it run its course is imperative to understand where the A is in their mind. Without prompting or questioning, commenting or discussing it would be good to see if your husband reaches back out for treatment on his own.