Marie, I have been thinking about what you said today...your right, He was never really there for the kids. I think Im angry at myself for once again making a bad decision that affected my kids. That I put them threw that unhealthy atmosphere for so many years. My oldest always wanted him to be the the dad he never had but he just couldn't do it...but boy did I live that fantasy. people would say "Hes so great with your kids" and I would just smile and act the part. Knowing that he wasn't the least bit involved, Oh, he would make some effort, Im sure he cared about them. But when no one was around he really couldn't be bothered.
My anger at him about the kids is really my anger at myself...and maybe a little hurt..you don't love my kids, you don't love me..kinda hand in hand.
and Pink..Im slowly getting to the point that I can see positive through all the hurt. If it were not for him, my kids would not have had the life style they did. We had a nice house and my kids got to live and grow up in that house and go to good schools. I could not have done that as a single mom. And regardless of what he says there were some good times that were full of laughter with all of us. We had times that we were a real family and my kids will always remember that. He was a good person at heart and I don't know what happened to change that but whats done is done..not to say I don't hurt over it but Im excepting it. for the first year I told myself hed be back..for the last 6 months Ive realized that I cant live my life like that. Im not laying in a ball crying on the floor like I was so that a plus right??
He is a very troubled person..I know that, I lived it for many many years. He cant run from that unfortunetly and it will come back to haunt him. He has given up the relationship with his son for what ever it is he has now and that was his choice. He will have to find a way to live with that.