Thanks everyone. I think I know where I screwed up. First, the social isolation of not drinking got to me and I wanted to be around people. I went to a bar to meet some friends (who all drink heavily) and I lasted 10 minutes. It's time to make some new (sober) friends, lol. Not sure how yet but I'm working on it. Second, I surfed this site before but didn't get involved. I need a community of people who can relate. I'm glad I joined. It's like a 24/7 AA meeting without all of the AA stuff that always made me run away. I know AA works for lots of people, just not me.