Hi my 3 sons,
I struggle with this same question. Is it Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde that's the fake?
In my AH's case, I think they are both aspects of the same, unwell person.
But I always sensed there was something lurking there that I didn't like. It's just that overtime that shadowy personna took on more substance and the nice Jekyll only came out when it was time to play nice with the ladies at the playground.
I semi-consciously made the decision to marry someone Yi had reservations about. I learned some amazing things from him, traveled around the world, had 4 gorgeous amazing brilliant children and then Mr Hyde started taking over so basically I got the h**l out of there.
No need to have regrets! We are here together on this lovely planet to love and to learn!