Aaaand I'm back! Rough flight (literally, it was bouncy!) and I have a headache from all the bouncing & wonky cabin pressure, but I'm home, safe and sound. I got a fabulous greeting from the pup - he was speechless...didn't make a sound, but he was all over me and it looked like he couldn't believe I came back, lol!
Unfortunately, my sinking feelings were right. Husband relapsed this weekend. And by this weekend, I mean since Friday, i.e, before I even left (or at least that's what he said after some coaxing for the truth). I knew it. I just knew. I could tell something was off. I could even sense it before I left, but I didn't want to engage (and part of me didn't want to admit it) and I didn't want to broach the subject before I left. I wanted to leave clear and to not go with my mind clouded with overwhelming worry. I had to let him make his own choices and I had to let me make mine. My choice was to do something good for me...just for me. And I did. I had a great time this weekend. I needed this. I needed to recharge, refresh, and have a good time.
So there you have it. What I feared most happened, and yet I was still able to have a good time this weekend and I haven't freaked out now that I'm home and am fully in the know. I didn't go full on codie, and I'm working to keep my wits about me at the moment. But I won't lie, it's going to be a hard evening. Going to hold onto the good times & good memories from this weekend to get me through whatever comes next.
I can't say thank you enough for all the support and encouragement. Just gotta keep working my own recovery and I do hope that he gets back on the wagon & continues to work his.