hm...i'd be inclined to ask for her help.
i'd say that this is all new to me, and i wouldn't expect her to understand just how that is, or how long "new" can be, but that i'm not feeling on solid ground and could she help me make it more solid by helping me have a safe space at home that's alcohol-free for now to counterbalance the possibly-not-entirely-safe-space that's your head.
and yeah, i'd put it in terms of "help me, please". cause that's what it is.
and i've been thinking about your SLAP.
what that is is moderation-attempt. trying to control what i finally understood i could not and didn't want to control.
you put it in terms of "not exactly a healthy relationship with alcohol" or something similar, and sure, that's true.
but the REAL point, in my opinion, is that it keeps THE relationship going.
all the time; every day.
you can't stop having a relationship when you're waiting for the rendezvous.
you can't be done that way.
it's no different qualitatively from "weekends only", "only at night" or all the other various limitations we tried.