I think the years spent with an active addict is like counterfeit money. It may look real, sometimes it can be passed on as real, but in the end there is no value.
An addicts mind is polluted with their DOC. There is no rational thought. The minute they start to feel/hurt they medicate.
I have heard it said on these boards many times " Often we give the booze too much credit" and for me that certainly has been true. I had to stop making excuses for his unacceptable behavior, and poor choices. It's as if I was giving him a "get out of jail free card" daily. I just kept sweeping all his dirt under the rug, and one day I could no longer walk across the rug.
I think we all have wonderful memories of the man or woman we fell in love with. And perhaps for that moment in time that is who they really were.
There is a reason our eyes are on the front of our body, so we can see clearly as we go forward.
Peace, my friend.