I think the trigger for me last night was pure happiness. Isn't that the stupidest thing you have ever heard?
julez, that is not stupid at all. I feel like if I will ever relapse it will be because of that very same thing. My sponsor calls it a "peace-time ****-up". I have felt the same thing.
Sorry to hear you caved-in last night. Were you feeling like you were going to do it for a while? How long were you sober for?
I understand your frustrations about AA being very cliquey as well. I feel the same thing with my home group. I've never been about the cliques even when I wasn't in AA. Just something about it all that bothers me. Well, anyway, I hope you will get back on the road to recovery and just treat this event as a slip.
As much as I may want to get trashed or f'ed-up on a weekend night, I still keep myself away and try to stay in AA because otherwise I WILL go back to that painful hangover management that would occur every single day. Good luck!